New Year's Ponderings.

It's a new beginning. A new start. A new year.
Fresh. New. Infantile. Eager. Anticipating. Timidity.

We've finally started a new year, and the only thing we've really done in class so far is discuss the past--the final exam, that is--and the future. I guess it is up to me to discuss the present.

I'll start by making a confession. I'm surprised.
Pleasantly surprised, that is. I went into AP Lit thinking it would be like my previous Language Arts classes, save AP Lang: confining, way too focused on grammar, and way way too much emphasis on analysis of literature...even the thought repulsed me. But as we began our class discussion of All the King's Men, I was hooked. I never knew writing could be that beautiful. That a few words on a white page could give so much more meaning to life.
Now, I'm proud to say I'm hooked on literature.

As I was frantically attempting to finish my college application essays over winter break--I'm still not done--I was often frustrated by my writing, as I often am during timed writings. Sometimes I can't find the right words, sometimes it's that my sentences sound awkward. I've edited and rewritten, used my backspace button until it it is much easier to press than the other keys on my keyboard, and yet my writing never seems to be perfect. As I reread some of my favorite works: Invisible Man, My Sister's Keeper, and A Tale of Two Cities, over the break, I began envying the writers' abilities. How each one could--in such differing styles--create plots so interesting, characters so alive, and sentences so riveting?

I guess my goal for the new semester is not only to better my skills as a writer, but to take more pride in my writing, to love what I have done rather than hate what I haven't. For it seems that all good writers seem to love their style of writing, seem to love their uniqueness. Perhaps what I view as my weaknesses as a writer could someday turn into my best strengths.

I've read many books to which I was indifferent of the plot, but fell in love with the writing. I want my writing to be like that. Even if I am writing about cultivating goats, I want readers to be able to completely be enamored by my writing.

I read Ishmael once again over the winter break, and I was completely immersed in the novel once again. Not only is the subject interesting--a man talking to a gorilla about the end of the world--but the writing is so beautifully engaging yet concise and clear.

My goal this school year, and the school years to come, is to become a better writer. A stronger writer. A confident writer. I want my writing to convey my ideas, but do much more. I want to be able to change others' lives the way Rowling's writing pushed me to value friendship and loyalty, the way Kingsolver influenced me to weight the pros and cons before acting.

A new year and a new hope.